


Desperation

by Slaskia



Series: Astral Aligned Continuity [33]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Desperation, F/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 11:13:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12957996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slaskia/pseuds/Slaskia
Summary: He's tried everything else, save removing himself from the game board.   It won't work out like he hoped.





	Desperation

**Author's Note:**

> Contains some minor plot spoilers for the 'Astral Aligned' continuity I'm working on, but hey...I'm impatient....

_Era: Great War_

_Typticon Station, Starscream’s Quarters_

 

Everything else was ready.  The note.  The blade.  The only thing that was missing was his bearings. 

Starscream held the blade in his trembling hands.  He had to do this.  It was the only way.  Everything else had failed.  The only thing left to try was removing himself from the picture. 

He never should have bonded with her.  Yet, how was he to know this whole situation he was in was all one big plan by that damn brute?  The mysterious bot that ‘suggested’ on where to go to have the spark shield removed.  A random message telling him why the Council refused his requests to have it removed in the first place, which sent them both into a panic.  The timing of Megatron’s attack on the station during the first time in _orns_ he left the station.  How Megatron knew exactly who to threaten when he refused to give up control to the station on his own.  At this point, he wouldn’t be surprised if the gladiator was somehow behind the destruction of Vos on top of that. 

Starscream had to admit, Megatron was quite the schemer when he put two circuits together inside that barbarian head of his.  Or perhaps it wasn’t so much _his_ circuits but those of his advisors, especially Soundwave.  That damn silent bot no doubt was the source of all the intel on his life, no matter how private it was supposed to be. 

He had to do this.  It was the only way.  Hoping to make it easier for himself, he opened his chest panels, revealing his spark.  Once again, he lifted the blade, aiming at his spark.  Primus, his hands were trembling so much.  He took several deep intakes to steady his hands before preparing to thrust. 

A passing thought made him hesitate, lowering the blade once more.  What if doing this killed her too?  _She will be with the Allspark…with Primus…away from him…._   As for himself, he didn’t care if he wound up in the Pit due to what he was forced to do these last several orns.  So long as she was safe, that was all that mattered to him.  

His mind finally steeled, he raised the blade once more and thrust it into his spark. 

He was expecting a flash of his life before his optics as his spark extinguished.  A dimming of optics as his lights went out.  However, other than a bit of pain from when the tip of the blade hit the back of his spark chamber, he felt nothing.  It was like nothing had happened at all. 

Starscream pulled the blade out and inspected it, confused.  He was told the blade was made of a metal that was specifically designed to disrupt, even destroy, sparks:  an assassins tool.  Either the merchant lied to him or…. 

 _No no…he can’t have known about this too!_   Despair started to fill his processor.  _No…something else is going on._   He remembered that it didn’t take a special blade to destroy a spark: it just made it easier.  That his spark was apparently completely unaffected meant something else. 

 _Well then…if my spark cannot be extinguished by direct means…_   He hadn’t wanted to do it this way as he didn’t want to leave a mess, but now he was getting desperate.  Taking the blade, he started cutting the lines in his neck, energon, his life blood, now gushing down his chassis.  This time he could feel the difference, he could feel his body weakening.  The blade slipped through his fingers, hitting the floor with a thud. 

Then he heard the door open. 

“Star?”  a very familiar voice called out.  “I was told you weren’t feeling well so I thought-“  He heard her gasp.  Either she saw the rapidly expanding pool at his knees, the bloodied blade, or maybe she was finally _feeling_ his life ebbing away.  “Starscream!  What are you doing!?”  She was at his side in an instant, one of her delicate hands trying to stop the energon flow. 

“Saving…you…,” he proclaimed, his voice already crackling with static.  With one hand, he removed her’s from his neck.  He finally looked at her, though her beautiful black and grey-blue face was a bit blurry.  Starscream still smiled, happy to be able to see his bondmate one last time. 

“No!  You idiot!” she screamed at him.  “This is not how you save me!” 

“Everything…else…failed….”  He felt himself pitching forward, only to be caught by her gentle hands.  “With…me gone…he can’t…use you…to make me…hurt…other’s…anymore….” 

“What about hurting me?”  There was a crack in her voice. 

“One…spark…not…worth…millions…you said…once….”  He couldn’t see her anymore, but he could still feel the warmth of her chassis as she cradled him.  Starscream felt her cup his chin with a hand, followed by a light kiss on his lips.  A kiss he no longer had the strength to return.  “I…”  It was getting hard to speak.  “…love you….” 

“You fool…,” she was sobbing.  “I love you…you slagging fool….” 

Then he longer felt anything. 

\-- 

He opened his optics, blinking away the blurriness.  Where was he?  Was this the Allspark?  As his senses came online he could hear the beeping of monitoring equipment.  That ceiling looked awfully familiar. 

It was the station’s sickbay. 

 _No!_   Starscream tried to get up, but found himself restrained to the medical berth.  Why was he still alive?  Did she?  No, she would have accepted his wishes, no matter how much it pained her. 

His ponderings were interrupted when the shadow of a familiar, and very much unwelcome, frame appeared over him.  “Well now…,”  Megatron commented, an amused grin showing every one of his sharp denta.  “It would appear you even fail at killing yourself, Starscream.”  He leaned in close to him, Starscream unable to get away.  “How convenient that you have an immortal spark…or should I say ‘inconvenient’, in your case.”  With a sharp finger, the gladiator tapped his chest.  “Certainly, explains why you had a spark shield, now doesn’t it?” 

 _My spark…immortal?_   Starscream started intaking rapidly.  _No! Of all things to have…why Primus!?  Why!?_   

“Looks like you’ll be quite useful to me for a very… _very_ long time Starscream,”  Megatron continued, his red optics glowing with malice.  “I am certain your bondmate will be _quite_ happy to hear of this development.”  With a cruel laugh, Megatron turned and walked away. 

Starscream’s cry of despair could be heard throughout the station….

**Author's Note:**

> Related picture I did: http://fav.me/dbuxqcr


End file.
